Recovery the Music and Ignite Pathways are excited for our concert event coming up in Lehi on November 5:)
Some background and information:
Jenna and I (Rachelle) met 2 1/2 years ago at the Center for Women and Children in Crisis in Provo, Utah. Jenna was an employee at the time and I was basically a client of services--which probably humbled me for a couple lifetimes. ** or as my daughter Presley would say, "it seriously seriously, literally literally humbled me:)) I had been through a very difficult (and public) divorce a couple years earlier and honestly, I was not recovering so well. Part of my "exit strategy" was to leave my ex as quietly and motionless as possible. I made a decision that I would pay for through coming years and that was to simply negotiate an offer that gave me nothing but full custody of my three daughters and my Lexus. Alimony---I could do without, I figured. I accepted two years to get me "on my feet" so I didn't have to go to work right away and disrupt my girls dance and music schedules. And that's that. My ex's corporate job, pension, benefits, stability---I took nothing. My divorce took three weeks to finalize--and that was all I wanted.
Looking back, my decisions to leave my marriage at that time and in that way were motivated by desperation, PTSD and a complete lack of awareness about the real world and my mental, physical and spiritual condition. It would all work out--this was my mantra. I've always had a strong faith in God, but faith can become a delusion if you're not careful. And I was not careful. I was reckless. The good news is that God did cover me and my girls with grace to buffer my lack of experience and education about Domestic Violence. I would never recommend what I did to someone in a similar situation but hindsight is 20/20 --so we do better when we find other ways--new pathways.
Six months after my alimony ended, I ended up in a Women's Shelter for 3 1/2 months here in Utah. I had hit a rock bottom that I could have never seen coming. I was very well read about other peoples addictions but I had never fully faced my own. I had a "dependence on others for their money" problem. Because of that, I was in severe arrested development and did not want to work. Why did I have to work?? It didn't make sense. Better yet, I didn't make sense. I did not know who I was and had a severe crisis of identity that was deeply rooted in a lifetime of dependency/focus on others. I rationalized that focusing on myself was selfish--but really, it was just very very painful. So I avoided it at all cost. It hurt too much.
Living in that head space drove me to my knees--and into the shelter. I met Jenna there and a couple other women who seriously seriously literally literally saved my life: Kim and Laurie. These women were safe and willing to be brutally honest with me. I saw myself--finally. I also witnessed and felt my own smallness and powerlessness--I faced my fear of disappearing and dying alone because I didn't matter. It was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me and I'm grateful.
Part of my walk out of that Women's shelter over two years ago was fueled on the path of my music. I may have had nothing material for the first time in my life, but I had my soul and my music (under God's supervision, of course!)--which turned out to be enough. Jenna and I started leaning into each other for support during my stay there. We talked about music and we practiced singing every Sunday. We even performed for the Women's Shelter's Benefit that spring--on stage. A year and a half later (last year) we came together in Provo to put on another concert for Domestic Violence awareness. We received a HUGE donation of furniture from Marriott---which has blessed many lives this past year with needed household items, couches, chairs, kitchen tables, etc. Since that time, I've continued on with Recovery the Music and Jenna has created her own non-profit, Ignite Pathways. Ignite Pathways supports women and men trapped in abusive relationships through yoga, creativity, music, education, etc. Our goal is to continue building a strong infrastructure of support and education for families in Utah County who are dealing with Domestic Violence.
http://www.ignitepathways.org/
Our 3rd annual event will be on November 5 at the Courtyard Marriott in Lehi Utah. The event runs from 7--9. We will use music and performance to inform and communicate. Please contact us if you want to use the mic--tell your story, sing, poetry--whatever it is that strengthens your recovery, we want to hear about it!! More details and tips on how to spot DV coming!
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